


Her Once and Future Soldier

by avery_mist



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Missing Scene, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21553708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avery_mist/pseuds/avery_mist
Summary: Grace had always loved her commander. She just didn't know how much until she went to the past.
Relationships: Grace/Dani Ramos
Comments: 19
Kudos: 241





	1. On the way to America

It’d been eight days since Grace came back to the past. But it felt like longer. It felt like a haze of nonstop fighting that stretched and pulled her mind forward and back in a twisted knot. It caused her head to pound, but that might have been the overexertion catching up. A flaw in the augmentation process. Quick boosts of energy at the cost of long-term survival. She scoffed mentally at the word survival what did that really mean anyways? It was hard to match the present she was in, the sunshine and actual trees and people that walked a full straight line for minutes on end and expected to live at the end, with what she was used to. Grace couldn’t remember the last time she’d walked in a straight line over five feet without ducking or weaving to avoid the machines.

The rumbling of the truck below them had faded into white background noise as had the novelty of being on such an antiquated diesel model hours ago. The wind rushing along the sides of the truck bed was wonderfully cool to her heated frame. Dani was stretched out beside her, her head resting on Grace’s thigh. Grace couldn’t help but marvel at that. The commander was stretched out and touching her. The commander trusted her. She hadn’t been this close to Dani since the day Dani had swooped in and saved her when she was fourteen. Grace would never forget that day.

It had been at least 2 years after her father had been killed over a can of peaches, at least 5 since her mother had perished in those first violent weeks of the upheaval. It had been the first time that someone other than family had cared about Grace. She remembered Dani’s hair twisted in braids, the glowing fire of hope in her eyes. She remembered the feel of Dani’s soft and strong hand pulling her up. Grace flexed her palm at the memory even as she felt her chest tighten. The warm reassurance of those hands had left finger prints on her heart.

Dani shifted in her sleep and almost on instinct Grace reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. She could feel the steady beat of Dani’s heart thrum through her fingertips, waves of breath moving her chest slightly with each rise and fall. The wonder of her kept Grace preoccupied through the rest of the night.

* * *

Dani could honestly say she’d settled into a weird new normal with Grace and Sarah. It had been 8 days since her world had turned upside down. Since it had gone from working with her brother and nagging her father to clinging to her protector and talking with Sarah. Dani had found it strangely difficult to step away from Grace to hug her uncle when they arrived at his compound. It hadn’t been that long since they’d met but she was used to the feel of Grace’s hand on her arm or her shoulder. She was used to the sight of her piecing blue eyes scanning their surroundings. To feeling the heat emanating off the too tall frame and smelling her scent, an odd yet comforting mix of machine oil and something indefinable that she decided was simply Grace.

Grace stepped up as she and her uncle walked into the house, catching up on the tragedies of the past 2 weeks.

‘It has been too long mi amor’ – her uncle’s soft voice rumbled in his chest.

‘It really has Tio… this is Grace’ Grad nodded at him once then resumed scanning the area. Her hand softly brushing Dani’s as she did so. Dani fought the blush that instantly rose in her cheeks at the renewed contact. Thankfully for her Sarah drew everyone’s attention by collapsing on a nearby chair which audibly creaked under the harsh treatment, ‘Ah and that is Sarah.’

Several hours of discussion and food went by before Dani knew it. She was only pulled from the storytelling and planning half way through when Grace, seemingly without thought, drew a knife and casually sliced a fly apart that had only moments previously taken flight off Dani’s beer when she made to drink from it.

The thought drifted unbidden through Dani’s mind as Grace slid the knife closed and continued eating; _killing shouldn’t be that attractive._

They had a few hours down time before it would grow dark enough to attempt crossing the border. Dani and Sarah dropped onto cots placed in one of the back rooms while Grace volunteered to patrol around the compound. The back room had no windows for ventilation so a fan had been set up in the corner. It’s oscillating blades generating a feeble warm breeze every few seconds along with an omnipresent hum. It should have been easy to drop off to sleep, but Dani’s mind didn’t want to shut off and she kept fidgeting.

Sarah sighed, ‘You should try to sleep’

Dani nodded into the darkness, ‘I know, we have a long trip coming up. I’m just not sure how I can right now’

Sarah grumbled, leaning up to punch her pillow then flopping back down. ‘Well you were doing fine before.’

Dani nodded again sighing, ‘Yes, I don’t know. It feels weird without Grace here.’ She turned on her side to look over at Sarah, her profile barely visible from the light leaking through from under the door. ‘Was that what it was like with you?’

Sarah sniffed. ‘Like what?’

‘You said Kyle, John’s father was sent back right? Like Grace was sent back for me?’

Sarah remained silent, and after a moment Dani pressed on: ‘I just thought maybe...’

Sarah snorted, ‘I think our scenarios are a bit different in that regard. He was sent back to protect me, to make me fall in love with him and conceive John. Sure, Grace is another soldier, but she’s hardly going to be the one to,' she made a gesture, hidden in the darkness, 'help you usher in the next future leader.’

Dani hoped the darkness hid her wince at that.

‘It’s a futuristic Mary Magdalin fuck up.’ Sarah continued, oblivious ‘And you know I’ve had a lot of time to think. After we brought down Skynet. After that terminator killed my son. I really wondered what was the point of Kyle coming back at all.’

She shifted a bit and turned to face Dani in the darkness. ‘These fuckers keep coming and I guess you’re the next Mary fucking Magdalin. Only I guess your guy is waiting in the wings somewhere here. How long do we have? How many years did I delay the apocalypse? And you want to know the kind of fucked up thing I think about?’

Sarah sucked in a big breath before continuing. ‘I can’t help but wondering where Kyle is in all this. He’s probably a teen right now, somewhere in America. He’s not a soldier yet, maybe he never will be. Maybe in postponing the apocalypse I’ve killed him, just like I killed John.’

‘Sarah,’ Dani’s voice broke in the dark as she reached out to touch Sarah’s arm, ‘you didn’t kill John. You didn’t kill Kyle…’

Sarah sniffed hard rolling onto her other side and pulled back from Dani’s grip.

‘Might as well have.’

The drone of the fan filled the silence after that confession.

Dani wondered if it was obvious to anyone else, wondered if anyone had been close enough in all these years to notice how much Sarah loved a man long dead and still alive today but fundamentally different, younger, somewhere in the states, and just as much out of reach as her dead soldier. She thought of Grace back ramrod straight and strong somewhere nearby in Mexico and wondered if she existed now too, a younger version with ice blue eyes that hadn’t known war. With a sinking feeling in her stomach she couldn’t help but think she wasn’t really different from Sarah in this after all.


	2. Crossing Boundaries

For Grace, the journey across the border was full of similarities to the future. A disconcerting notion in and out of itself. There was the harshness of the elements, the dust that coated everything, and the lack of people except for her group. Then the dark tunnel below the wall, which must have been uncomfortable to the others but was almost like coming home for Grace because there was safety below ground where air drones couldn’t spot you. Honestly, it would have been weirder for them not to be confronted suddenly by artificial light on the other side. The only thing that really threw Grace was that there were human voices telling them to raise their hands and surrender. In Grace’s experience these sorts of lights always meant death which is probably why her grip on her gun tightened until Dani stepped forward.

Dani, so unlike her future self but so very much like her in that moment. In front of the group, the unconscious leader. Grace had followed her when she was younger, starving and wanting so badly to be a part of something again. She’d followed that voice into battle more times than she could count. Had volunteered adamantly and loudly to be sent back to protect her. So when Dani said they surrendered, she did as instructed instinctively. She allowed herself to be handcuffed after making Sarah promise to protect Dani and stay with her. And when she saw the drone make a suicide dive to kill Dani, her response was instinctual.

She broke the handcuffs and ran, grabbing Dani and throwing her as much as her augmentation would allow away from the blast. She had calculated how far and where she threw but she watched just to be safe. The last thing she saw as the drone crashed was Dani’s body impacting the dirt several meters away. The last thought she had was her ever present wish that her commander was alright.

* * *

Dani wasn’t 100% sure what happened. One minute she was being led to a cruiser. The next she was beside a fiery heap of what used to be a police car and crew.

‘Grace!’ she called out weakly, coughing as the smoke stung her lungs. Her head throbbed painfully at the sound of her own voice. Someone hauled her up but the size was wrong, the person was too short, the grip too rough, it couldn’t have been Grace. She started struggling and was shaken for her trouble.

‘Hey, settle down!’ the low voice of the police cop in her ear rumbled. Shoving her towards one of the trucks nearby. ‘I don’t have time to deal with you freaking out so don’t struggle and shut up.’

‘But…’

‘I said shut up!’ he said, a bit louder. Grabbing the truck door and swinging it open. He hauled her up and pushed her inside. She stumbled, her handcuffed hands just catching the metal seat before she fell.

‘Okay I said I’m coming!’ another body was shoved in right behind her.

‘Sarah?’ Dani said, catching sight of her friend.

‘Yeah, I’m here.’ Sarah said rolling her shoulders as she slumped into the opposing metal seat. ‘It’ll take more than a machine dive bombing to kill me.’ Sarah gave her a once over, before nodding her head towards Dani’s throbbing one.

‘You okay kid?’

Another body was shoved into the truck and the door swung shut.

‘Oh thank God you’re okay, your uncle would kill me if you weren’t’ he sighed.

They waited a beat in silence. ‘Where’s Grace?’ Dani asked.

They all looked at one other, before Dani got up and moved to the closed truck doors stumbling slightly as the truck started to drive away. Through the glass and wire panel at the back she could see the steadily retreating glow of the car and drone wreck on fire. There silhouetted by flames were a few dark shadows that could have been bodies or bits of metal. Dani hoped it was a trick of the eye that one of those shadows looked like it had golden hair.

‘Grace!?’ she called out, banging her handcuffed hands on the door, but no one answered.

* * *

Their processing was a blur. Dani was separated from Sarah and Jose because she was ‘causing a ruckus’ by continuing to ask after their missing party member. A harried Doctor quickly patched her head with tape assuring her that it was a surface head wound before passing her off to a bored guard. The guard then shoved her into a fenced cell with a host of other border crossers. It seemed America was the land of the imprisoned not the free. But it didn’t seem real without Grace. She could see Jose and Sarah in other cells, and she watched with a numbed heart as Sarah was led away some time later by a typically arrogant white man in a cheap dark suit.

She knew the machine was coming. She felt a sort of resigned acceptance as she heard yells that always seemed to proceed its’ arrival and prepared to defend herself. And she’d honestly never knew her heart could beat like that when she spotted Grace opening the cages nearby her blue eyes focused on something just out of sight.

‘Grace’ she mouthed into the cacophony as Grace broke open the gate holding her wire prison together. Dani's hands reached up to cup her saviors head and try to bring her closer before reality kicked in.

Grace grabbed her hand and pulled her forward, protectively shielding her against the swarming tide of bodies running out of the open cells. They ran together out of the building, distantly Dani realized the terminator was slicing through the people, through Jose and the soldiers and the border crossers like tissue paper. Dani only snapping out of her daze when Grace started to lift the helicopter up without Sarah, saying something about caring only about keeping Dani safe.

‘No, we’re not leaving without her!’ Dani said voice hard. Grace’s eyes locked with hers for a moment and Dani’s heart did that weird shudder again. The moment was all it took for Sarah to leap in and then Dani was firing the full clip of a gun into the terminator knocking him back as they took off into the night.

* * *

It wasn’t until the woods by Carl’s home that they got a chance to speak alone.

‘You can’t do that again Dani,’ Grace said as they walked away from the cabin to gain some privacy.

‘Do what’ she asked, nearly tripping over a stick as she came to a halt in a small clearing. Her eyes on the dark green canopy high above them. She hadn’t been in a forest in years.

‘You can’t put yourself in danger like that,’ Grace said, voice trembling slightly. She slowly walked around the clearing, eyes scanning the trees before turning to face Dani, making eye contact. ‘You can’t…force me to wait if someone falls behind.’

‘Sarah is not just someone!’

‘But she’s not you!’ Grace yelled. Dani took a step back as Grace stepped towards her. Ice blue eyes intent on her face.

‘You don’t understand,’ Another step towards her as Dani stepped back.

‘if you die. If you die everyone,’ another step

‘Dies.’

Dani’s back hit the tree. ‘Grace, I-’

‘No!’ Grace said her sharp blue eyes glistening. Her hands were trembling fists at her side.

‘Just…promise me you won’t do that again. Because I can’t fail you. Not for this.’

Dani breathed in sharply and felt the bark scrape at her back. There it was again, that almost sense that they knew each other more than Grace let on. That feeling like they were more that made her heart pound in her chest. She reached out slowly and laid her hand on Grace’s stomach, feeling the muscles and mesh clench beneath her fingers.

‘Grace,’ Dani said softly, ‘I can’t make that promise.’

She felt the hitch in Grace’s breath as she curled her fingers in the dirty white tank top pulling her closer. She saw her future soldier take what must have been the first unsure step she’d witnessed her make towards her. At least the first one without crashing. Grace’s right arm coming up to brace her weight against the tree.

‘You,’ Grace’s breath stuttered across her lips, ‘You have to…’

Their faces were inches apart. Dani could feel Grace’s wide blue eyes on hers, she could feel when they darted towards her lips. She took that as an invitation pulling Grace down as she tiptoed up to meet her.

Dani wasn’t sure what the kiss would be like. But it tasted almost electric, like Grace’s energy was flowing into her. She felt the soldier’s body almost sag into hers as the kiss deepened. Dani trailed her hands up Grace’s body. Running fingers up over the soft skin littered with scars, tracing the strong line of her jaw before carding her fingers into her soft gold hair. Relishing the feel of her, alive and whole. She felt more than heard Grace moan. Felt the strong arms wrap around her and pull her closer almost lifting her off her feet.

Their lips broke apart briefly, both gasping for breath. Dani could feel heat pool in her stomach as she felt Grace’s muscles everywhere. The strong hands splayed across her back, the arms wrapping around her ribs and the softness of her chest and the hardness of her abs pressed against Dani’s own heaving front.

‘Fuck.’ Dani whispered shakily which seemed to snap whatever moment they were in as Grace connected their lips together again. The slide of Grace’s soft lips against her own drove all thoughts from Dani’s mind.

There was only Grace. 


	3. For Anything worth a Dam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done. Sorry for the delay, took a while for me to figure out how to close this off. I might do an epilogue but I kind of like it as is. Thank you for reading my first fanfic. :)

Sarah wasn’t sure what had changed since the cabin in the woods but something had. She noticed it during target practice, when they were hashing out plans. She noticed it when she was trying her best not to rip the damn ex-terminator’s head off when he talked about drapes as they waited for the EMPs from her contact. Seriously, one more f’ing minute discussing shade and pattern on something so inconsequential and she’d have torn his fake face off his stupid metal skull.

It finally clicked as the parachute opened up on their jeep as they…well not quite fell but not exactly floated, to their dam resting point. Sarah’s mind was still reeling from the revelation that Dani was the commander Grace was sent back to save. Her body was still tingling with adrenaline from the airplane explosion-impossible fight-roller-coaster ride of a journey they’d been on to escape the terminator.

She watched the flames of the wrecked plane reflect in Dani’s eyes as she frantically scanned the area around them yelling out for Grace.

Love.

The sort of aching panicky new love that took hold of your whole life and changed you, unalterably, from what you were before. She knew that sort of the love. It was the only love she’d ever known.

Not that they had much time on the way down to discuss that, nor did they have any time in the following half hour of frantic fighting but…the revelation was still there.

* * *

Grace was crashing hard. She cursed herself for not carrying more backup syringes, for not guarding the EMPs better, and for telling Dani about her future self like that, in front of everyone else. The look in her eyes, the stunned disbelief and betrayal was not something Grace had ever wanted to create there. She flashed back to that face, older and brimming with determination. The one that had asked her if she was sure she wanted to go back, before authorizing the augmentation and the tattoo and the quick debrief on what time travel really meant in so far as they had understood it.

Grace really hadn’t understood the debrief. Things to her had been very linear. The past was Earth before the apocalypse. Her parents were there. The present had been the never-ending war with the machines. The future was something else. Maybe a further desolate landscape or maybe a new paradise. But regardless it had been something she was absolutely certain she’d be following her Commander into, guarding her side as she’d promised herself she would ever since her commander had saved her from starvation.

She wondered now, as Dani struggled to pull her along, if her Commander had known her in the past or would know her now. Wondered if the Commander that had lifted her and everyone else up out of the ashes of the end of the world had known a Grace that had pressed her up against a living tree and kissed her like she was the only thing that mattered. Had she changed things or was she simply a loop in the line of time, creating something that had already happened. Her head throbbed painfully and her body seized up.

Philosophy could wait till after they escaped. They hit a steel door and Grace struggled to pry it open before collapsing against it, exhausted and spent.

‘Dani,’ she gasped. ‘You’ve got to leave me here.’

Dani shook her head quickly to the negative as she moved to help Grace up again.

‘No, never, there has to be another way.’

‘There isn’t-‘

‘There is always another way!’ Dani replied sharply, ‘I’m not giving up, and neither are you.’

Dani bent down and carded her fingers through Grace’s hair, her fingers wonderfully cool against Grace’s throbbing temples.

‘That’s an order…soldier.’

Grace trembled slightly, from exhaustion and relief. Orders? She could work with that.

‘Yes ma’am.’ Her body spasmed hard and she gasped as it almost knocked her from Dani’s grasp.

‘Grace! Grace stay with me!’

Grace heard the scuff of boots on the gravel nearby and the squelch of wet socks. The world was spinning behind her eyelids. She struggled to open them and focus.

‘Sorry to cut the moment love birds but I believe this might be in order?’ Sarah’s husky voice cut through the air as did the gleam off the syringe in her hand.

Grace barked out a laugh, ‘why do you…’

‘I’ve got sticky fingers,’ Sarah shrugged, bending over and in one smooth movement stabbed the needle into Grace’s leg. ‘Never know what might come in handy.’

Grace hissed at the sharp pain and the icy feeling of the medicine swarming her system.

‘You enjoyed that too much.’ She ground out to Sarah, her body convulsing once more before easing out.

Sarah shrugged, the wet clothes making another squelching sound. ‘Gotta get your kicks somewhere.’

* * *

Dani breathed a bit easier as Grace’s spasms stopped and she was able to stand on her own. She felt the vice in her chest relax as Carl came back, metal skull gleaming at his temple, but a welcome team member to pry the metal door open and move them towards their next arena. Sarah moved in lock step with her as they set up their last stage of attack. Her muttered snarky comments a welcome distraction from what they were doing. She looked at the vast concrete room they found themselves in, vaguely similar to the auto parts factory this had started in, in Mexico. The turbines whirred nearby as they yelled at the workers to get out, firing their guns for effect and expediency. There was never enough time, and she desperately wished for more. Wished there was time for her to pull each of them aside and thank them for doing this, for sticking with her and protecting her.

To thank Carl for leaving his family and preparing for this eventual ending before he’d even known she’d existed.

To thank Sarah for her concern and kindness badly hidden behind her gruff demeanor.

And to thank Grace for… so many things. Her unquestionable loyalty. Her steadying presence. The way her blue eyes seemed almost lit from within with her feelings. Dani thought there was not enough time in her life to thank Grace for everything she was to her.

Her heart skipped a beat as the terminator came into view and started walking towards them. Her eyes were on Grace who shifted in front of her and glanced back at her. Her eyes connected with that lightning blue pair. The unspoken question, are you sure? Met with a determined nod.

Then there was no time for thoughts. Only action. It almost seemed to come in flickering stills.

Grace whipping the metal chain around her body like a dancer.

Sarah hit at her temple and seemingly down for the count.

Carl and Grace forcing the thing back towards the metal turbine.

The grind and scream of metal colliding.

The fissures forming on Grace’s skin as she pushed the thing back.

Then the world exploded again. It seemed to be doing that a lot recently.

She came to, her ears ringing, ash in the air, and Sarah coughing nearby.

‘Grace! Grace!’

Grace’s long form covered in black detritus, eyes looking around for something sharp and pressing it into Dani’s hands begging her to retrieve a power source located in Grace’s abdomen.

Their argument, her tears falling on Grace’s face as she choked out her apologies for doing this. The wet tight press of things best not thought about as she pushed her hand into her lover’s side and pried out something that flickered a blue so similar to Grace’s eyes.

Grace’s last whisper as Dani pried out the power source that could be their last chance at finishing this.

‘Grace I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry’

‘I’m not.’

* * *

Sarah hovered nearby as Dani wept on the floor of the dam. The room was oddly quiet, filled with charred blackened metal and soot. The machine…Carl was gone. He’d held the terminator down and let Grace’s power source take them both out.

‘Dani,’ she tried again. ‘We’ve gotta go kid.’

Dani kept crying her hand was bloody and twitching on the ground next to her.

Sarah sighed, and knelt down beside her. ‘The police and the feds are going to be here soon. Trust me when I say being locked up, mental institution or otherwise is not the fun vacation you’d think it would be.’

Sarah gestured to the lone prone figure off to the side, ‘She would want us to get away.’

Dani sniffed, flexing her red hand. ‘Well she’s not exactly able to say that anymore is she?’

Sarah tried a different tactic. ‘She did all this to protect you.’

‘Yeah,’ Dani said looking up at Sarah, ‘and obviously I didn’t do enough to protect her.’

‘Wha-’

‘I’m her commander. You heard her on the plane.’

Dani roughly wiped her hand on her pants as she spoke.

‘Yeah,’ Sarah said, her voice stuttering a bit at the reminder, ‘You’re John.’

‘Well I obviously wasn’t a very good Commander, what sort of leader sends someone to their inevitable demise?’

Sarah stiffened defensively, reminded of Kyle. ‘You couldn’t have known.’

Dani rose to her feet and Sarah followed suit.

‘Couldn’t I? I had one soldier to send back, why didn’t I prep her better?’

‘Maybe there wasn’t time-‘

‘Then I should have thought of something else,’ Sarah could seem tears welling up angrily in Dani’s eyes.

They needed to leave before someone came in. Sarah huffed in exasperation. This conversation was getting out of hand.

‘Fuck, okay I don’t know Dani. But you, I mean future you probably did all you could. You’re fucking smart enough to realize that sometimes there is no winning only losing less!’

‘Well if I’m so **fucking** smart why wouldn’t I have put in a god damn backup battery?’

The sound of a sudden gasping inhale broke through their argument and they turned as one to locate the source.

Sarah could see a lean figure with blond hair sit up, clutching at their side.

Unbelievable. She looked quickly over at the remains of the machines to make sure they too hadn’t rebooted.

‘Dani?’

Nope, still very dead.

‘Grace?!’ Dani was off like a shot running over to her.

Sarah watched as they collapsed into each other. Dani’s hands pressing against Grace’s side, holding her together and to her as she kissed her face over and over.

Sarah rolled her eyes at the scene. Unbe-fucking-lievable. They looked like the cover of a harlequin romance novel. Ash everywhere and almost lost to each other and now lost **in** each other. She fleetingly hoped she had never looked even half as foolish when she'd been in love with her soldier. 

Dani's sharp yell cut through her thoughts, ‘Sarah! Come help me, we’ve got to stop the bleeding!’

‘Fucking time travel,’ Sarah muttered too tired to question the complexities of the situation. ‘Okay I’m coming!'

She started stumbling over, her body aching in protest. ‘Try not to suffocate her with kisses before I get there.’


End file.
